Acknowledging Your Mental Health

Bubble baths have always been my go-to whenever I am feeling stressed, tired, anxious, overwhelmed…the list goes on. This was the extent of my knowledge about taking care of my mental health. I always told people “the key to finding peace is to do something that relaxes you.” While that is good advice, it does not scratch the surface when you are dealing with your mental health. A bubble bath is a temporary fix, that is if it fixes anything at all.

2020 kicked my ass. Everything that I was suppressing came boiling up to the surface. I was an absolute mess. If you saw me in person, I was smiling but, on the inside, I was on fire. My relationship had fallen apart not even a month before the lockdown started, my friends were miles away, I was stuck in my apartment with a destructive puppy and desperate for personal connection. I cannot even begin to tell you how much alcohol I consumed during the first seven to eight months and the amount of weight I gained was deflating. I was mentally overloaded and the only way I could cope was by working extreme hours. I loved my job at the time, and I was happy for the distraction.

In August 2020, my sister and I moved in together, I took on a new position at work and my peace and quiet was gone. I became angry and resentful. I internalized everything and just kept moving forward. During this time, I was also working on launching the podcast. I was looking for an outlet and it came at the perfect time. It took my mind off everything. To this day my podcast is my release. I say how I feel, I let it all out and I get to have conversations with people who pour into me. Although this was a good start, it was not enough. I took a hard look at the person I was in that moment and I did not like what I saw. I looked haggard, overweight, kind of sad, I was getting sick, and my eyes were a weird off-white almost yellow color. I start writing down what I wanted my life to look like. Then I played with ideas of how I could get myself there. The first decision I made was to stop drinking. It took two months to mentally prepare myself. That is insane, but I did it! I have not had a drop of alcohol since December 30th, 2020. Next was working through my issues. My confidence was at an all-time low. I downloaded the Better Help app and started my sessions. Two almost three months later my entire attitude changed. Understand that I am nowhere near done, but putting my needs first and getting started was a huge step for me.

There are so many things that make up our mental health. It not just seeing a Shrink, it is working out the emotional roadblocks, learning what you need to do to take care of yourself, changing how you feel about yourself, letting go of the things that are holding you back, allowing yourself to physically and mentally heal and understanding what it means for you to be healthy. The list goes on. The month of May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I implore anyone reading this to take a moment for yourself, determine which areas of your life need the most attention, and start there. Mental health care is necessary for everyone, no one is immune to pain, conflict, negativity, and hard times. Do yourself a favor and just test the waters. Get the help you need when you need it. No one is judging you.